Exodus 90 Day 7 - 14

So let me tell you that I failed, what started out to be an absolute slug fest till the very end became a disaster. When I started this journey it was easy for me, I wasn't working which was the big one, when you do not have to be out of bed at half five and sometimes work in the rain quite a lot, than taking cold showers is easy. Praying is easy because you have time, being positive is easy because life is at your leisure. I am not trying to make excuses or maybe I am! I do know that I am very weak at times and life luxuries do make it all bearable.  Coming in from work on Monday the cold shower was not an option so after 8 days of cold showers, I broke the discipline and had a hot shower. 😓😒

David, Pietro Magni, Rijksmuseum

Its funny how sometimes in life things do resemble the domino effect, once the hot shower happened its like I became weak to everything else. If I really study my behaviour than I can see the cracks started to show when my daughter came to see me the Saturday before. We were allowed as a fraternity to watch something with our kids but that for me was leaving the cat outta the bag! Once I watched a film with my daughter I couldn't stop I went on a marathon spree with YouTube. I'm an addict and a bad one, moderation is just not possible. I'm either all in or all out, there is no in between and i'm starting to think there never will be! Its just the way i'm built, very very weak when it comes to temptation and doing whats not good for me.

Ring fort, Dingle Peninsula, 2014

In this week of indiscipline I have learned an awful lot, I learned that the exodus programme cannot be won or conquered. I learned that my pride was the thing that had to be conquered. If I have a favourite quote then this is it " Don't give up, trying to give up". I have lost the battle but the war goes on, its in defeat and knowing our wrongs that we get to understand the true meaning of faith. When the flood gates opened and all discipline fell then so did my prayer life. One thing I have noticed that its almost hip to say that you pray! I know that prayer is hard, its a struggle and for me I can only pray if all other areas of my life are intact! Once the prayer life is gone then you have absolutely no defence to all things comfort. The life of a catholic is hard, that is a huge lesson that I have learned over the last few years, to be faithful and practising, its a struggle. A struggle but worth it, life goes on tho, I not giving up, I have fallen already but look its not about falling its about getting back up. Tight lines....