Exodus 90 Day 7

So 1 week down another 83 days to go! Its been a week of ups and downs, in and outs and all over the fucking place at times! Like we all seem to think that we are on an individual level we are so important! All you need to do is take something like sugar or television out of someones life and you quickly see how controlled people are. The extent of my sugar addiction has been realised, the powerlessness at times for the smallest thing has been a real eye opener! One thing that I have come to know is that prayer is by far one of the hardest disciplines. To prayer for an hour is no easy task and that is what it is, a task. During the week at times I have really got into prayer, either while saying the rosary or some silent meditation. Its a beautiful thing, a form of strength that maybe has been lost to today's society. This week has not been perfect, I relaxed at the weekend if I am honest, I watched the film Okja on Netflix with my daughter yesterday but I have been assured that was an OK thing to do, as its deemed something necessary. The one proud moment is the no sugar all week, the constant cold showers and the hours dedicated to prayer! In the comfort we become very very weak! The sugar softens me and slows me down, the television lulls me into nothingness and life passes by without me even noticing it. 

Right to Life, Dublin 2018

For some reason with me, I feel along the way through my journey in life, I became very selfish. I believed that a life of pleasure and prestige was not so much a bad thing. Maybe I was incapable of even seeing past my own self but I wanted to feel good all the time. That led me down a very dark road, a road the majority do not get out of. Like it was a conscious decision to do bad things to myself and the people around me. I was really lost but now I know today that its OK to get lost. Its OK to try and find your way home. Staying lost is not the answer, staying in the nothingness and giving up is not an alternative. I try'd everything but gave up. We cant stop trying to quit. If we fall we get back up again. Sometimes we fall a thousand times but we still try, its in the fall and the getting up, we find the answers. 

Gap of Dunloe, 2016

By doing the next right thing over and over we somehow find a better way to live. The easy life is not for me. If I want to be happy than I gotta struggle but struggle in the right way. Deny myself the pleasures in life instead of ingesting all the pleasures and dying after four days of partying. Sex, drugs and rock & roll are just fantasy's, but running an iron man isn't. Its a real thing. Struggle in the right way that is my new motto. If people thing that the party life isn't a struggle than they are wrong. Trust me the struggle out weighs the good. If people think Exodus 90 is an easy, maybe they should try it, its damn hard, but its worth it. When did we all fall for the bait!? Life is not meant to be easy! Its not our overall objective to find a way to live a cosy comfortable life! Get out in the cold, go run in the dark, try something new, you never know you might like it. 

Mia Brosnan, Banna, Kerry 2018