I have really struggled lately, the disciplines I cannot adhere to, the prayer goes out the window and I keep going back to god with my tail between my legs. When I talk to people about this 90 day spiritual programme they always ask, why? As part of the programme everyone has a why! That is confidential but what I will say is this. The reason why I try to live in gods law is because to live in grace is wonderful. To be a catholic is a very difficult thing. If you really look at it, it just might be the hardest religion to adhere to. I'm a sinner of the highest order, I have had addiction problems, I have been a complete tear away as a youngster, I was living life on the wild side and to be honest I barely survived. Unfortunately for me, if you give me an inch, by god I will take the mile and plenty more with it.
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| Derrymore Loch, 2020 |
I never had 2 pints in my life and went home. Its just not in me. So I have to be shackled, the Catholic religion shackles me and I mean that in a very good sense. Me left to my own devices, is not a good thing. When I first began to pray, I found almost impossible and at times I couldn't do it. People talk about praying all the time, like it is an easy thing to do but its not. Well for me its not. What I get from disciplining myself and prayer is a sense of ease that I have never got from anything in my life. Living in gods will has given me a life back. This exodus thing is just part of my life. My two biggest stumbling blocks is lust and food. I struggling with discipline around them too but I wont give up. I will continue fighting not just with these exodus 90 days but please god for the rest of my days.
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| French Fishing Lodge, Mayo, 2015 |
