First Drink after a relapse

 Something has gone wrong. You have maybe a few years behind you. The years do make a difference because the magnitude of what you are about to do is intoxicating. A few months doesn't have the same whack. I don't know the data but in my humble opinion love affairs can lead a lonely soul back to the first drink. Sitting there with the drink in front of you can be described like an out of body experience. Its now you really feel the demons roar. Why not? Fuck them! It wont be no harm. Life is far too short. The minute you take that drink without fail you hear the same demons laugh. Just like the final judgement. No point stopping now. The hamster wheel starts all over again. It might be a week, it be years before a moment of clarity brings you back to your senses again. Few will understand that black blind spot. Its possession in its finest form and only an act of providence can you release from it.

Archangel Raphael